When it's not about the weight

I am 5'4.  I weigh between 140 and 145 lbs depending on the day.  I wear a size 6 Levi's and a 32D bra.  I wish I was a little smaller, but only in the way that north americian culture has messed with women's heads in such a way that we all want to be smaller.  I am not dissatisfied with my shape enough that I have ever actually wanted to put in the effort to change my life style.

But some time lifestyle has to change and body shape gets dragged along for the ride.  There has been lots written about how poverty = weight gain.  How cheap food is often calorie dense nutritionally vacant.  I don't even pay much attention to nutritional information in the media and even I am aware of these things.  I have reached the point where my lifestyle has to change do to financial circumstance and it is going to change my body.

We can no longer afford to be a two car family.  Since my husband will need the car to go to work, I will be the main car free person.  Staying at home, really at home, not going anywhere with a toddler is not an option I can live with, but I will either have to stay at home or walk/bike everywhere.   Either option will change my shape whether I want it to or not.

I like biking.  We have a trailer for my toddler.  My bike isn't really great but I have a old fixer upper 10 speed that I hope to be able to use in the summer.

The problem is....  I can't bike very far.  I am not the fit, well toned person I was five years ago before I dislocated my knee cap.  I need to exercise not to lose weight but to adapt to my new car light existence.

My friend N has been involved with a program to help women go from sedentary to sprint length triathlon for a number of years.  I like biking; I like swimming;  I used to run with my rowing team.  I'm not currently any good at any of those things.  I thought it would be great, I could sign up and work out with her and a bunch of ladies who are in the same fitness boat as I am.

But.... I can't afford the entrance fee and (while I don't work very much) some of the training days conflict with my work schedule.  So I found a free online training plan.  I have a city pool pass that is still good for a few months.  The local bike store is taking pity on me and helping fix up my $3 garage sale 1970's era road bike for a very reasonable amount.  There is a sprint length triathlon in June that they sponsor.

I'm going to try to do it on my own.

I am scared.

I am stubborn.

I am going to follow the training plan and see what happens.

I hope to be able to participate in the triathlon.  Right now that seems impossible.

So far, I have had one swimming session for 30 minutes.  I could not swim the whole time.  It was a combination of swimming and water walking, but I put in the time and gave it my best effort and was tired and out of breathe at the end.  This morning my muscles are.... not exactly sore, but I can tell I used them last night.  The gal in the lane next to me says it gets easier everytime you go.

I am digging in my heels.  I am going to do this.